Why do ‘the work’ on your love life? Here are 5 unexpected joys of working on your love life
It was a client’s last session yesterday and we sat down to talk about next steps and reflect on the progress of the last few months.
Ironically, the biggest goal when starting, was the fixation on meeting someone. By the end of the three months, my client has decided after years of chasing and dating, she’s ready to be single.
Instead, she’s looking to move jobs and countries. In her words “I’m sick of feeling like I’m waiting for my life to start”.
And it got me thinking, because often we do wait. When we feel stuck or disappointed with life, we often long for love more, thinking it will give us the spark back that we're missing. We don’t take the job, or visit that country, or move, or even watch the film, because we’re waiting for it to be ‘better with someone else’.
We can stress for years about this. The who, the when, the where. It becomes a pressure cooker, and we miss the magic in front of us.
Which is why, more often than not, when working on your love life, unexpected goals, changes and events fall into place. Because we’re moving forward and creating energy.
By working on key themes such as addressing crappy thoughts and behaviour, setting boundaries, effective communication, gratitude, confidence & self love, setting a vision for the future, and pushing you out of your comfort zone, we create a domino effect for change. Nothing happens in isolation.
Our general relationships can improve - with family, friends, colleagues, because we start to understand ourselves, can be vulnerable, or can see others with more compassion, or we have gratitude for them. We also create new opportunities and friendships when expanding our dating horizons.
Our work life can improve - we might start to let go of pleasing people, perfectionism, set boundaries and start speaking up. By building confidence and allowing yourself to dream big and push yourself, then we start to shift professionally too. You might even find yourself on a new trajectory (like I did).
Our health and fitness - once we’re coming from a place of self-love and doing things because they feel good, it makes sense that a knock on effect is to start looking after yourself and making healthier choices. From calming your nervous system to nourishing your body.
Your future can get bigger. Suddenly you start questioning what it is you actually want, and what aligns with your values. We might start to travel, to relocate, to quit our jobs. Or you might just find yourself excited for the future and content with what you have.
And of course your romantic life.
So, before you look outwards to find love, and repeating the same boring stuff that keeps you going round in circles, this week, try something new.
Think of one thing you might have been putting off, or waiting for, thinking you need to meet someone in order to do it. And commit to that thing
Let’s look at creating the most inspiring life you can. Filling yourself with all the love, inspiration and joy that feels missing.
Because that's what will create lasting change.
On an admin note, if you'd like to work with me this year, it's the final call. I have 4 spaces for a 6-8 week coaching container, to start in September and early October.
If you'd like to know more, please reply to this email or book a free call here
