5 game changing questions to ask when dating

So it’s fair to say that sometimes the process of dating and finding love can feel like a minefield! How do I know if it’s right? How many dates should I give it? Are they the wrong person or is my anxiety getting the better of me? Should I be more proactive? Am I chasing? The list goes on and on! 

(if you have any dating questions btw, you can always email them over and I’ll answer on YT or Insta)

So, as each and everyone of you is unique, and each situation will be specific to you, I wanted to give you 5 powerful questions that you can ask yourself when dating. 

This means you can hopefully be far more intentional with your time and inject a bit more fun back in the process, so the pressure lifts, just a little! 

1. Do I like how I feel about myself when I’m around them? Can I be myself?

 Sometimes we can get so caught up in the attraction that we forget to check in and ask ourselves how we feel when we’re with someone. You obviously want to like the person that you are when you’re with them, so ask yourself what side of you comes out? Are you comfortable, or do you feel a little judged/ on edge? Do you feel you have to impress, or are you just happy to be you? The more you check in with yourself the easier it is becomes to figure it all out

2. How do I feel during the ‘in-between’ dating time?

 This is a biggie… See for a lot of clients, the dates can be GREAT. The dates can leave you on a real high, but the time in between seeing them is filled with anxiety, confusion and like you’re chasing. We want your overall experience to feel calm, centered and exciting! 

3. Are we on the same page about the future and what we’re looking for?

 For anyone looking for a serious relationship, the biggest time saver will be having conversations early on about what you’re both looking for. There’s no point investing months (and your feelings) in someone who just can’t give you what you need or isn’t in the same place. It’s not because they're a bad person, or anything to do with your self-worth, they’re just at a different point. 

4. Are they consistent in communicating and contact?

 Let’s leave the games, cr*p chat and lackluster plans in 2022 please! To create a fab relationship, you both need to put in the time and consistency to get to know each other. If you feel like you have to chase, or arrange anything, or you don’t hear for weeks, then 1) ask if something has changed, or 2) move on 

5. Am I staying present or am I projecting anything on to this relationship?

 Now I LOVE this question and it’s a loaded one. Because in early stages of dating we usually 1) move into the fantasy of what something could be,  2) project any past hurt and look for reasons it won’t work. We want to keep checking what the reality of the relationship is, and that we’re not getting carried away with a story we’ve created about the situation. 

 So my love, I hope that helps! I will also gently say, that if you find that:

• You can never really be yourself or be comfortable when dating

• You get incredibly anxious all the time when dating

• You always date people who don’t want the same thing

• There is never really any consistency and good communication

• Or you go into the fantasy of what could be, or run away due to the past

Then it might be worth looking into what your patterns are and why, because if something happens again and again, then it’s time to dig deeper. 

P.S

i have 4 spaces available for 3 months worth of coaching in March/April! To chat it through and book your call with me, click HERE.