Can’t stop thinking about them? Read this how to guide.

As promised, I’m pinging you some tips on how to stop constantly thinking about someone! 

This has popped up with quite a few clients recently, who are working on moving on from situations such as… 

• A situationship that might have been going on for years (why can’t they see how good you’d be together!??)

• A potential love interest, where nothing has happened (but could it in the future??)

• An unavailable guy (what if they change their mind??)

• An ex (what if they move on and meet someone else??) 

Whatever the situation, it can be a blaaady frustrating, and pretty sh*t place to be stuck in. As much as logically you know that it’s not going to work, you can’t stop yourself from hoping, or wondering, or ruminating, or obsessing! 

Now, I wish it was as simple as telling you to ‘just stop worrying’ or ‘just stop thinking about it’, but changing thoughts and habits can take time, so give yourself a bit of grace whilst it settles. 

SO, without any further ado, here are some gentle tips to start you on your way! 

Accept that the thoughts will pop up… 

 Contrary to some advice, I find it bloody hard to shut out intrusive, or obsessive thoughts, so it’s more helpful to accept that these thoughts might still be there. I like to acknowledge them when they appear, but choose not to focus on them. 

👉 For example, I say “hello intrusive/obsessive thought” and I imagine it as a balloon and pop it! 

👉 Or you can say out loud, in your head or on a piece of paper “hello, thought about X, I acknowledge you’re here, but I’m not focusing on you, because I accept that this situation is XYZ.” 

 Feel’s a bit clunky at first but you get used to it!

Check your behaviour 

Thoughts don’t happen in isolation, they’re intrinsically linked to behaviour. So check to see what habits you’ve built up around these thoughts, which is enforcing the cycle. Are you checking their whatsap online times, dating app profiles or social media? Altering your plans to bump into them? Talking about them non stop? 

See how much of your energy actually goes into them on a daily basis, as chances are it will be more than you think. 

Change where you put your energy 

As I said, it can be hard to simply ‘stop thinking about someone’ so instead we need to shift the time and energy back on to you. Here are some ideas:

👉 Spend time with loved ones, without mentioning the trouble maker

👉 Spend time on your hobbies, or classes, or exercise you love

👉 Journal, mediate, get into self-exploration (look at the ‘identify the why’ tip below)

👉 Get out in nature without your phone and engage with people/ dogs/ babies

👉 Create a vision board of the future and get excited for it. Think about the ‘future you’ and what you want for her. How can you step into this now?

👉 Plan trips, events, things to look forward to

👉 Clear out your house! Tidy house, tidy mind! 
 

Identity the why

It can be easier to process something if we understand why we’re holding out hope, or thinking about them. So spend a bit of time asking yourself “why is that important” and do some digging. 

👉 For example “I can’t stop thinking about them > because I wish the situation was different > because I want them to want me > because then they’ll have changed and chosen me > because then I’ll feel good enough. 

Focus on the facts… 

The reality is you will have your rose tinted glasses on when it comes to overthinking about someone, or the future you would have had together. 👉 Keep a list of the facts and the reality of the situation, their personality, how crap you felt/ feel, why it wouldn’t work. 

Keep a healthy distance 

Cliched but true, time and distance always helps. So it’s time to remove their presence from your life. Whether that’s on social media, your phone (I used to delete their number but screenshot a message, so I always had it as a backup) or physical reminders. Block, delete, move on, as Lalaletmeexplain would say. 

Anyway I hope that helps, actually turned into quite a long list didn’t it! 

As ever babycakes, I’m around to chat and help you move forward! 

Just as a bit of a reference for the rest of the 2024, I have limited ways to work with me. These will be the last intakes, and won't be able to take on any more clients after these dates - sob!! 

So if you would like to book a no-strings attached call, book yourself in HERE for a free coaching call, even if you just fancy a chat!

👉 The three month flag ship 1:1 programme - last intake 1st September 

👉 Leading in Love, The Group Coaching Programme - Open Mid September (dates not yet released)

👉  The six week coaching 1:1 intensive - last intake 1st October 

Break through session - 1st November! 

Doors will open again in Summer 25!