Does luck have anything to do with meeting someone?

So I don’t know about you, but when the thought of meeting someone felt further away than winning the bloody lottery, I used to think that I was just totally unlucky in love. 

I’d watch mates jump from relationship to great relationship, seemingly with no drama and easily. They didn’t worry about meeting someone, they just expected to. 

And then there was ME. Feeling like I was trying desperately, but getting bloody nowhere. For whatever reason, love felt hard. 

And this usually manifests itself in situations like…

👉Only ‘attracting’ people who are hold and cold, or unavailable, or already taken, or you end up in situationships

👉Or perhaps you rarely meet anyone you like, but when you do it’s like you’re overtaken by some weird anxious obsessive alien and all you want to do is cling on to this person and make them stay.

👉Or, you might say you want a relationship, but when it comes around, you reject or self-sabotage love.

👉 Or perhaps you’re always chasing relationships, or dates or even external things like jobs, cars, money, because you’re using things to try and fix you.

Having come out the other side of these c*ppy situations, the question is do I believe some people are just luckier in love than others? Is it really all just a roll of the dice?

No.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I believe timing and a sprinkle of magic plays a part in meeting someone, but I also firmly believe there are so many things we can do to give love a kick in the right direction.

But the reality is, we haven’t all learned tools like healthy self-esteem and to harness beliefs that support us. We haven’t all been taught to regulate anxiety, or been taught to trust, or learned what healthy love feels like.

Which means it can be easy to use love as a way of fixing ourselves.  Our self-worth and happiness can be underpinned by someone else finding us attractive, or wanting to be with us. And if it doesn’t work out we feel broken. 

And the biggest kicker?

We attract, and are attracted to people who keep us in this place.

Relationships are a mirror to what is going on with us. The relationship you have with yourself dictates the kind of relationship you have with someone else. (I want to put a caveat in here, I’m not talking about abusive relationships or cases of DV, I’m talking about the standard relationships we see everyday.)

So when you don’t like yourself, or don’t believe you deserve love, or can have it, then you tend to be attracted to people who also have an internal void. They cheat, they blow hot and cold. They’re unavailable. 

Which is why it’s crucial to ‘do the work’ on yourself BEFORE looking outside for love. 

Because we get to relearn. We get to rechoose. We get to decide what we want for our future. And realising this made me feel bloody powerful. It got me off my bottom and motivated me to sort out the sh*t show that was my love life. I learned things like: 

🔥 How to work on my mindset so I noticed opportunities and good people around me

🔥 How to stop being so bloody horrible to myself 

🔥 How patterns and the past affected who I fancied and why 

🔥 What I wanted and how to communicate that 

🔥 How to surrender and stop obsessing (as much)

We can all work on feeling luckier in love, because you bloody DESERVE it!

So, if you fancy turning the tables and taking responsibility for this area, then I’ve got a few options for you!

I’m running a badass Masterclass, How to Attract & Sustain a Healthy Relationship, where we will talk through the key ingredients needed to speed things along. It’s £15 quid and a brilliant way to start you on this journey. Sign up before 19th July to get access! 

OR and I’m so excited about this one, Leading in Love is just around the corner! We have some gorgeous souls signed up already, so please do get in touch if you’d like to know more.

OR, I have 1:1 spots available to work together (doors close for the 12 week container in early Sept, and close for the six week container in early October).

So if you would like to book a no-strings attached call, book yourself in HERE for a free coaching call. 

Lots of love, 

 Caitlin