“But, How Do I Get Him To Commit?”

Ok so I’ve got a shorty but a goodie today! I get a lot of questions on how to get someone to commit more than they’re currently willing to offer. Not sure if this resonates but..

• Perhaps you’re basically acting like their girlfriend, but they won’t label the relationship 

• Perhaps something started off as casual and you’ve realised you like them 

• Perhaps you’ve started dating someone and you want to speed things along (this will often be linked to your attachment style, or levels of security, rather than the other person)

Well the short answer is that you don’t get someone to commit to you. You can’t. It’s not a court of law - you don’t get to sentence someone to serve a certain amount of time with you (outrageous I know). 

And if you find yourself trying to threaten them with an ultimatum, trying to manipulate them into it, trying to control them into changing then it’s time to take a step back my love. 

Because if you find yourself in a situation where your feelings have changed and you want more, all you can do is tell them. It’s more than ok that your feelings have grown, but it is up to you to take responsibility for the situation you’re now in, because you both created it together. 

And if they don’t want the same thing, if they can’t offer you the commitment you need, then it’s up to you to talk away with love and choose yourself. 

If you don’t, the real question you need to be asking is why you’re so attached to someone who doesn’t value you? 

See what comes up, because, as I know by my own experience as well as hundreds of hours coaching clients, that the answer is always about us, and not them. 

If you want to have a chat, then please get in touch today, as I’d love to talk things through with you.