Are dating apps on the way out?

I don't know about you, but most people I speak to have a love-hate relationship with dating apps. Aka, they love to hate them, but can't shake the feeling it's the only way to meet people now. In fact, I have a sneaky feeling that a lot of people would ditch them entirely, if they felt confident about meeting someone offline.

If you were around for the launch of Tinder back in the heyday (I remember my mate nagging me to swap my blackberry to Iphone so I could download the app), it's no wonder that you might feel burned out, disheartened and a little fcked off - it's been years of the same swiping, and admittedly the culture and lack of effort has perhaps got a little worse, rather than better. 

Plus, let's not forget that Dating Apps are designed by the people who create addictive online games, and they are a multibillion dollar business (Match Group, who owns Hinge, Tinder and more, were worth 50 billion in 2021). If everyone is in relationships, there are less people on the apps and they don't make as much money. Cynical I know, but economically true. 

Which is why it's interesting that  in the last year or so, there has been a downward trend of people using the apps. According to the Economist, apps are losing millions of users each quarter, and struggling to convince people to pay for the premium offering. ‘Traditional’ dating apps like Tinder are now looking to spice things up with  ‘IRL’ events, and newer ones, such as Thursdays and  Bored Of Dating Apps, are solely focussed on this. We now have dating run clubs, yoga classes, cooking classes, and so on. 

So, what do I make of this for my clients? Firstly, I don't have a particularly strong opinion on the apps. At best, they are one dating tool and full of a sea of people you'd never have met otherwise, and there are incredibly success stories. At worst, it feels superficial, exhausting and impacts your mental health. It's about how you use them, and the impact that it has on each individual. In some cases, it's simply not worth it. 

I also do not believe that dating apps are the only way to meet people, and if you're telling yourself this, then it's time to look at why. 

Because regardless of using the apps or not, I believe dating requires a proactive approach. This involves: 

👉 Joining IRL dating events 

👉 Getting brave and bold with asking for set ups from friends, colleagues, friends of friends 

👉 Getting honest about what you want from life and love and speaking openly 

👉 Saying yes to invitations you'd usually turn down  

👉 Expanding your horizons with new clubs, groups, friendships and travel

👉 Cleaning up your behaviour when you're out and about and creating opportunities as you go 

Which a lot of people don't actually want to do - it feels deeply uncomfortable to admit you would like a partner, and act accordingly, without hiding behind a screen. 

If you do use the apps, I have guidelines to follow so it becomes a tool, not an addictive swiping pit of judgment. 

If you'd like to find out more about how to make dating practical, manageable and enjoyable, then please do check out Leading in Love. 

This is the programme that will help you heal the patterns keeping you stuck, and date consciously, without been driven on by the fear of a timeline. 

Leading in Love - Group Coaching 

This starts on 9th September and is an live, 10 week group bootcamp. You can check it out here and I also offer a free call with this one, which you can book here.

Hope to see you with me on this new chapter!