“Are we exclusive yet…”

SO, I don’t know about you but I used to HATE asking or answering questions around dating. In particular this included: 

“When was your last relationship?” (I’d never had one) 

“What are you looking for at the moment?” (hoping they’d say relationship) 

“What is this?” (Hoping they’d want exclusivity) 

Alas the conversations never went the way I hoped. I was either too awkward, too aggressive or too passive and just kind of agreed with whatever they wanted. 

What I’ve realised in the loooong years that followed is there is a very simple formula to answering questions like this. 

1. You have to own your story rather than be ashamed 

2. You have to know what you want 

3. You have to be excited for what you’re looking for 

4. You have to practice in advance (not joking) 

And then you have to communicate in a way that makes you feel empowered. It’s not necessarily about what you say, but it’s the energy you bring to the conversation. 

Because if you’re genuinely happy with where you are, know your worth, and are excited for what is to come then it makes it a hell of a lot easier to navigate those types of questions. 

Good energy around it looks like: 

• Sitting in a relaxed position rather than hunching over 

• Making eye contact and smiling 

• Lightness in tone 

• Contentment around what you’re looking for 

• Not trying to force an outcome or back them into a corner 

If you want to get more confident around this practice, here’s a little check in for you: 

• Think of a time where you wanted to ask a question, or you felt uncomfortable answering one 

• Note down what you said 

• Note down what what happening in your body: what your shoulder and hands were doing, if you felt any tension, if you were looking down 

• Note down what the intent behind the conversation was - were you just getting to know each other, or was there an agenda? 

• Now think about what you would have like to have said, coming from a place of ownership, empowerment and excitement

In my Leading in Love course, I’ll be providing guides, demo’s and scripts to get you started on this, as well as an opportunity to practise one on one. Plus we’ll be getting you clear on what it is you actually want, as well as building your confidence so these conversations feel far more natural! 

If you want in, just let me know! We start the 27th September and all information can be found here…