When to make the first move when dating

One of the client conversations I’ve been LOVING recently, is about when to push forward, and when to pull back when dating, especially in the early stages… 

It’s probably one of the most common dating dilemma’s out there. It raises questions like… 

👉 Should the guy always make the first move?

👉 Who should initiate the ‘what are we’ conversation?

👉 Are you being in your ‘masculine’ if you suggest the next date?

👉 When do you bring up what you’re looking for?

👉 Does being in your ‘feminine’ mean having to wait or be passive? 

It can be bloody confusing. SO, let’s make things simple! 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone out, initiating the ‘what are we' conversation, suggesting dates and bringing up what you’re looking for. 

In fact, when done well, it’s sexy, fun, powerful and incredibly attractive. 

When done not so well, it can become about controlling, forcing, and coming from a place of insecurity, rather than confidence. 

In other words, it’s about the energy you’re bringing to your dating experience. Not about who does, or says what.  

So, for me, there are two parts crucial to taking the lead when dating. 

1️⃣ We figure out what we want, are excited for it, and trust that the right person will meet us there and hold space for it. 

For example - I know I want to be in a relationship with this person, so when it feels right, I’m going to check in and see where they are. 

2️⃣ The second part is about letting go of the outcome and sticking by what you want, even if it’s not the outcome you were looking for. 

For example - they don’t want a relationship, which means unfortunately I’m going to have to say goodbye, as I trust that I need more right now 

Both of those steps are rooted in strength, knowing yourself, trust and openness (all markers of ‘feminine energy’, by the way!) 

SO, next time you’re not sure of whether to make the next move, ask yourself these two questions: 

🎤 Where’s this coming from? Feeling powerful? Trusting? Intuition? Excitement? Lightness? Wanting to control? Need to set the pace? Insecurity? Fear?  Get curious about what’s driving you!

🎤 Am I prepared to put my needs first, which might mean walking away, if I don’t get the outcome I want?

I hope this helps!