Sometimes the red flag is that you're attracted to them. Here's why…

I wanted to message as I had a huge private response from a post I put up last week. This was around the question “why am I always attracted to the wrong ones”… 

This is because we usually are attracted to people based on unconscious templates, our attachment style, and what we've been conditioned to find attractive.

This means we’re attracted to people based on past experiences. I mean, I could put you in a room with 100 people and you'd be unconsciously drawn to three of them.

So the issue comes when your internal template hasn't seen or experienced healthy love (yet), or past experiences aren't great, because we will seek what feels familiar. 

So your spidey-sense kicks into gear and you feel like you've known them forever, there's great chemistry, attraction and it's exciting.

And then the usual patterns emerge. You're checking your phone all the time, you're waiting for plans, you're fighting for their time. You're up and down like a rollercoaster.

So, attraction in some cases can act as a warning signal. If it does, get quiet and go slow. Make sure actions and words align. Look at how you feel in yourself and where your energy is going.

The first step in breaking the cycle around this is having a sh*t tonne of awareness around what is going on. The second step is to begin to heal the reasons this rollercoaster feels familiar, and give yourself the love and security you need. 

Comment what your next step is going to be