The two things you need for early relationships to flourish…
Something I’ve been working on with my clients recently is how we can create space within our dating experiences so we don’t accidentally suffocate or squash it.
Because when we like someone, or we’re excited, it’s natural to want to step into that space. We want the connection to grow quickly. We want to secure the direction it’s heading.
And I heard an analogy from the lovely Amber Grubenmann which I wanted to share as it’s so elegantly and beautifully put. She said to think about your fledgling relationship as a seed you plant in the ground.
In order for that seed to grow it needs two things: air and water
So if we think about this in terms of dating - for your relationship to flourish, it needs air (aka space) and water/nutrients (aka connection).
The issue arises in that we forget the space part. Or we’re scared of allowing the space in case it ‘goes wrong’. We get so carried away with trying to bombard the situation with ‘connection’ we don’t let it breathe. In other words, sometimes we accidentally waterlog the relationship.
Does any of that resonate with you, my love?
But creating that space is so important in the early stages of dating. You have to miss each other, to find out things slowly, to allow the excitement to grow and level into something deeper.
You also give yourself the space to figure out:
If any niggles are your anxiety or intuition talking
How you feel when you’re with them
If your values align
And if you allow yourself time to get quiet, to slow down, to take a step back, magical things happen. It was in the period where I allowed myself the space to breathe that I was able to listen to the voice telling me my next step, and that’s where my husband came in!
As Cory Muscara says: create deep connections, not attachments.
Connections feel spacious, attachments feel constrictive.
This is so crucial that I have included a whole module in Leading in Love where you will learn the tools and techniques to step into trust, create space and slow down so you allow things to align and unfold as they should. If you know you tend to over attach, or rush love, or suffocate it, then it’s worth checking out the course!
You can join the waitlist here for early bird offers and information for the September enrollment, otherwise you can check out all the other information here!
“Taking the Leading in Love course with Caitlin was life changing. I have been struggling with being single and feeling like I am so behind in life but after this course I feel like I am right where I need to be. It has helped me take my power back and really feel in control of my love life for the first time ever. No more settling just for the attention, no more situationships and no more feeling like I am not worthy of an amazing love!”
