Not everyone is going to be right for you, or into you, and that’s ok!

Want to know what one of the most common dating patterns I see is, that keeps SO many women stuck? 

It’s the fear of rejection and not being ‘right’ for someone. We want to come across as cool, breezy and low maintenance, whereas actually we’re terrified about being ourselves or real with the people we date, in case it scares them off. 

So you don’t tell them what you’re thinking or feeling, and instead focus on being who they want, or saying the things (you’re guessing) they want to hear. 

Which does the following: 

👉 You sink into the background as a ‘nice date’ but often respect and the desire to know more flies out the window

👉 You waste time because you’re not asking the important questions (like do they want kids, are looking for a rel)

👉 We chase people for approval or to feel worthy

👉 Rejection actually feels worse because then you don’t feel you were given a ‘chance’, or they didn’t get to know you 

So, we have to normalise (and make peace with) the fact that we’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and not everyone is going to be right for us. And vice versa. 

 My brother once (rather brutally) told me at the age of 15 “not everyone is going to fancy you. Why would they?” 

(Charming) 

But there is truth in it. 

So you might as well be yourself. You might as well say the thing. Belly laugh on the date. Talk about a hobby you think everyone will judge you for. Ask the big questions. 

And the truth is, this is actually what makes you irresistible to the right person. This is what makes you stand out. This is what makes someone desperate to know more. 

And this is the bit we don’t get to skip - there’s zero point reaching for the dating apps if you’re in this pattern. 

We have to own who you are, your life and what you want. 

So get going!