A quick one today as I wanted to address one of the most frequently thought questions when looking for love:

 

“WHEN WILL IT BLOODY HAPPEN!”

 

If you’re anything like my clients it might feel like:

 

❣️ You’ve been swiping away for years

❣️You’ve waited patiently, smiling as you watch friends meet people, get married and have sprogs

❣️ You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts and nothing has changed

❣️ You’ve done the inner work to try and ‘heal yourself’ and again, nothing has shifted

❣️ You’ve spent years trying to ‘trust the process’ but you’re getting bored

 

When love feels further away than ever it can take us right back to asking other questions like:

 

Is there something wrong with me? Why me? Will I be alone forever? Am I not lovable? (the answers are: nothing, it’s not just you, no you wont and yes you are). 

 

But this usually manifests in our love life by… 

 

👉 Trying and force the outcome when dating, rushing the process & getting v. anxious. You can't relax, or settle, because you don't trust it's going to happen and step into that needy, desperate energy of chasing. 

 

So the question is, how so we move through this? 

 

Well, the peace comes when you let go of the attachment to getting it. 

 

This doesn't mean you give up (quite the contrary) but it means your happiness isn't dependent on ‘getting’ it. (I've got a whole masterclass on this HERE btw) 

 

In order to attract a relationship that feels joyful, safe, light and committed, you need to create that in your life AND in your dating experience. In other words you create the feelings and experiences as if it is already here. 

 

You can do this through: 

 

👉 Working through any beliefs that come up that tell you you're not good enough, or it's not going to happen 

👉 Managing your attachment style, so it doesn't rule the roost 

👉 Adopting a growth mindset 

👉 Actively practicing trust and gratitude, looking for signs that you're being supported 

👉 Surrounding yourself with love and stepping into your feminine energy 

👉 Learning the structure around dating, such as communication and boundaries that supports you 

Love

Caitlin