Feeling left behind? I know I am

So, I'm not gonna lie, but today I woke up feeling like cr*p. I’d gone to sleep worrying and I woke up worrying. Ever have one of those days? In a moment of self-sabotage, as I was lying in bed, I then checked instagram.

After spending a good 40 minutes stalking other people and comparing myself to other coaches, I felt like crying my eyes out. Instagram then blocked me out of my account so I felt even worse (and nope, still can’t get back in!)

So, in an attempt to ‘coach myself’ outta the mood, I picked up a journal and started to write.

A charming diatribe then followed along the lines of:

“Looking at myself in comparison to others, I just don’t think I’m good enough. I’m not smart enough or interesting enough to do this and I feel completely alone. I’m scared. I don’t think I’m ever going to make anything of myself and I feel I’m failing where others are succeeding. I feel so behind. Everyone else seems to be extraordinary and I’m mediocre. Why would anyone choose me?

And also. I’m a lazy pig who’s getting fatter by the day.”

[A bit of brutal vulnerability there, so be kind].

Now, you might be wondering why I’m sharing my pity party with you, but before you roll your eyes, ask yourself if any of that sounds familiar?

Because I’m pretty sure every one of us has said a version of the above to themselves at some point (or possibly regularly). Perhaps in relation to your love life? Or when you’re scrolling and comparing yourself to other people who seem to have it all together? Or when you feel time is running out and you’re one step behind?

And that’s ok. Because in every area of our lives, at some point, or pretty frequently, we are going to doubt ourselves. And want to run away and hide. Or lose faith that it might happen. We quite simply can’t have positive energy and project good vibes all the time. It’s exhausting.

But I think the key difference for me now, (vs when I was saying exactly the same thing, but just in relation to my love life) is that I know those unkind words are just thoughts. They might feel painful and make me sad, but I also know they’re not really true.

So, rather than accepting my paragraph of self loathing as a ‘fact’. This morning I started to challenge it. I wrote down reasons why it wasn’t true. I comforted and soothed myself writing back to myself as if I was my little sister. I treated myself with compassion.

I started thinking of all the reasons I was proud of myself and why I’m so grateful for where I am.

I looked in the mirror and asked myself, ok what do I need today to feel ok?

And I started to feel better.

And that, really, is all you can ask for. In a moment of vulnerability, to help yourself feel that you’re going to be ok.

It’s the foundation I teach all my clients. You can’t get rid of negative thoughts, or stop yourself from feeling sad or hopeless sometimes, but you don’t have to accept it as the truth. You can learn to soothe yourself and help yourself feel safe and secure, rather than always feeling on step behind.

If this has spoken to you in any way and you think you want to move towards feeling empowered and hopeful, rather than accepting that we are what our worst thoughts say, then book a free 30 min call with me this November. 1:1 spaces are open again.

Love,

Caitlin