How to get the commitment you want without game playing!
Now you might find the title of this email pretty obvious. You might be thinking, DUH, game playing doesn’t lead to commitment. In fact, you might even be congratulating yourself on how you playing games just aint in your nature (go you).
But what if I re-classed ‘game playing’ as any of the following:
Performing when you’re on a date with someone to make yourself seem mysterious, different from ‘other women’ or hard to get
Trying to control the situation by going above and beyond before you really know them (all my ladies with people pleasing tendencies, but ya hands up) to try and get them to like you and rush the timeline
Playing online tag - e.g posting on stories/ insta to see if they're watching; waiting a certain amount of time to reply to their text; deliberately NOT replying to their whatsapp when you’re both online, hoping they notice and wonder why you’re not replying (my old party trick); changing your pics of dating apps… you get the vibe
For me, we can slip into game playing whenever we are trying to force, control or manipulate a situation to get the results you want… And it rarely works.
Part of what I help clients figure out is how to date authentically, without the pressure and games, in order to meet someone who wants the same level of commitment.
Usually this looks like:
Getting super clear on what you want and communicating that on dates, plus putting practical boundaries in place to keep this safe
Doing the deep healing work so you’re no longer going for the same type of person and ending up in the same situation
Reframing those stories you’ve been telling yourself about age and how “all the good ones are taken”, so you can relax and actually NOTICE all your amazing options
Working on your confidence so you respect yourself enough to know you’re worth waiting for and being with
Relearning how a relationship should feel in the long run, so you’re excited, hopeful and willing to wait for it
Getting comfortable with trust (in yourself, other people and timing)
And finding practical ways to help deal with dating anxiety and putting to much pressure on relationships, such as nice PG rotational dating, where there are a two-three people in your orbit and you’re slowly getting to know them
In other words, it’s about becoming the most YOU version of yourself you can be, confident in who you are, knowing what you want, and knowing that you don’t have to chase, to beg or persuade someone to make time with you.
It’s where you’re high vibe and basking in your energy, knowing that you are a catch. You’re all good. You don’t need to be waiting around for someone to call, to text, and decide if you’re the one.
It’s not about playing hard to get, but being hard to get. It’s about having a life that lights you up, plans you’re excited about, and people you love.
So, have a little think about your love life so far, where are you slipping into game playing, or trying to control the outcome? Where could you be using the above pointers to re-learn your relationship patterns?
