3 dating rules that all my clients follow
I don’t know about you, but I think something’s stirring in the dating pool this week. I have had so many people reach out, feeling like they’re ready to make some changes in their love life! Some are excited to date again, and some know they need to do the work before dipping their toe in the dating pool. Either way I’m EXCITED for 2022!
And I get it, we’ve had a WEIRD (almost) two years, so for many people finding love has taken a hit. You might have experienced feeling like your love life has been put on hold. You could have even joined awkward zoom dates in a last ditch attempt to meet the one. The old fashioned picnics that at first seemed romantic and novel maybe lost their shine when you had to sneak of to pee in a bush. Maybe you even got ghosted by your lockdown pen pal as soon as restrictions changed. Or, maybe (like so many of my community) you actually fell in and out of love during lockdowns.
Whatever you’re feeling and whatever your experience over the last couple of years, I want to help you put your best foot forward with dating and show up with confidence in 2022!
So, to get us started, here’s three of the dating rules that I give to clients...
Your goal for the date is to stay ‘in’ the date. By this I mean focusing on the here and now and what is happening in the date. Not mentally forecasting all the ways it wouldn’t work, or dreaming of what you would wear to your wedding. It means slowing down and getting curious about the person opposite. It means really listening to what they’re saying and how they make you feel. It means getting curious. It means asking any questions that you want to know the answers to.
Do not audition for the role of the girlfriend. You shouldn’t be trying to sell yourself as a potential girlfriend, or ‘win’ a second date. You shouldn’t be trying to smile or laugh in the right places, or constantly worrying if they think you have a double chin. You shouldn’t be filtering yourself to try and get them to like you. In fact I want you to go into the date asking yourself if THEY are right for YOU, not hoping it’s the other way round. Ask yourself how they make you feel, if they took the effort to get to know you. How they showed up.
Unless you have a reason not to, always go on the second and third date. OOOO controversial I know. Look, in the age of not wanting to ‘waste’ time, we are very quick to write people off. If there’s not an ‘instant spark’, or ground breaking chemistry, or if we can’t see ourselves walking down the aisle from the moment we meet, then we’re off. However, love doesn’t work like that. You need time to get to know someone, to work out if you’re compatible, and to see the qualities and traits in them that you could fall in love with. And the ‘spark’ is usually bullsh*t anyway. I’ve done a longer Insta video on this here which you can watch.
