SO…. during our fab event Fall back in Love with Love, when we asked what people felt was holding them back when it came to love, a common denominator was the fear of being hurt. The fear of rejection. The fear of ending back up in the same place but just feeling worse off.

So, I wanted to write to you and say that firstly, if this resonates with you, you’re not alone in how you feel. Putting yourself out there, feeling like you’re opening yourself up, and the imagined consequences of what might happen if it goes wrong plagues even the bravest dater.

And secondly, I wanted to say that no amount of protecting yourself, or hiding away, or self-work you do can protect you from feeling hurt, or vulnerable. But, you can learn the tools and techniques you need in order to navigate it and know that you will always be ok. So, here are five steps you can take in order to overcome the fear of rejection (or indeed, rejection itself)

1. Find out what your limiting beliefs are and get to the bottom of what really scares you about rejection. Is it that you’re scared people won’t stay? Scared you’re not enough? Is it that you don’t trust? Dig deep. Because a lot of the time we blame the other people involved, without looking at the reason it affects us so much.

2. Reframe these beliefs and rewrite the story you’ve been telling yourself. Rejection hurts so much because we attach a story to it about our self worth. E.G Someone doesn’t text us back = we’ll be alone forever because of xyz. Do the mindset work on reframing these thoughts and replacing them with new and empowering ones.

3. Understand the risk. Now you’re aware of your belief and fears around rejection, you can understand the risk in a more objective way. What could you lose? What could you gain? What’s going to benefit you in the long run and get you closer to where you want to be?

4. Let go of the past. Often we hold onto people and situations as a protection barrier - we say that X has happened before and we use it as evidence that we shouldn’t do it again. Work on letting this go, understanding that your past doesn’t have to inform your present.

5. Collect evidence of all the times you’ve been accepted and loved and times where you’ve learnt it’s ok to trust- not just by romantic partners. By family, friends, colleagues, whoever, I don’t care as long as it builds up your new book of evidence!

I hope that helps my love and if you’re ready to dig deep and do the work, then I have two spaces left for coaching this Feb! I’m so excited and ready whenever you are.