So, one of the most valuable lessons I ever learnt when it came to love is it’s less about ‘getting the person’ and more about becoming the person you would want to be with.

Now, before you roll your eyes and think what an unhelpful thing to say, hear me out. 

Because I spent years thinking I wanted a healthy relationship, but wasn’t available myself. 

I spent months moaning about how badly I was treated by people without ever holding myself accountable for what I was doing in return. 

I actually had a big long list of what I wanted, but wasn’t prepared to be that person myself. 

Things only changed when I decided to get brutally honest and focus on myself and what I was bringing to the table, rather than thinking about how someone else could change my life. And this process was so revolutionary for me (I went from disaster to engaged within a  year) that it’s now something I teach all clients. 

In fact, one of the lovely ladies I worked with not long ago was doing a little audit of her relationship and dating patterns so far. During this process (and when going through old texts and deleting old love interest’s numbers) we came across something interesting. For every guy she was ghosted by, there was someone she had also ghosted. 

So for all the complaining about the way people behaved on the apps, my client was actually reinforcing the and participating in the behaviour she hated. Usually because the guys weren’t as mysterious or exciting as she wanted (aka they asked her out quickly, showed an interest in her life and seemed preeeeeety normal) 

So, whilst saying she wanted a partner who was straightforward, respectful and kind, she A) wasn’t yet behaving that way herself and B) was actively ignoring the people who were. So, we put a new rule in place, we drew up an intentions agreement, where she wrote out what she wanted and then also made an action plan of how she would also make sure she was measuring up. 

The good news? Since she stopped ghosting, she’s also been meeting men who are honest about what they’re looking for and don’t ghost. 

Call it karma! 

So, if you take one action this week, think about how you could take one step towards becoming the partner you want to be with. 

If one of your steps is to start working on your love life, then just hit the button below and we can get you a FREE discovery call booked in.